Roll Up Your Sleeves
by amd-tea
Summary: No one knows what the future holds. There is no guide to life. And there is certainly a lot to know in this world. And one thing is for sure, Nanase Haruka's little lonely life is about to flip upside down. (Alternate AU. Drug Use. tattooed!Makoto. stoner!Haru. Long Plot. MakoHaru later. Implied Sourin and Reigisa.)
1. Intro

Waiting at the bus stop so early in the morning was something full of meaning. Aside from waiting for it's arrival and trying to avoid weirdos that often waited in the wings, Haruka never minded thinking about the splendors of enjoying the crisp morning air. The soft hues that lit up the sky in anticipation of a new day. Beams of light pouring through the colorful blossoming and leafy trees. Birds singing their morning songs, essentially everything about these rides appealed to him. Taking a long swig from his to-go Tervis from home, Haruka embraced the sweet caffine boost flowing through him. Oh, how he loved mornings. Rolling his shoulders his backpack straps stayed in place but the fabric of his blue jacket crumpled around his skin.

The morning always brought a chill so his jacket was another pleasant charm, even if he didn't care too much for the thick articles of clothing. Readjusting the jacket against his skin, He leaned against a steel pole. The bus would arrive in about ten minutes. Though not a soul had joined him this morning at the stop, even the usual traffic was miniscule. He took another drink, allowing his mind to ponder about the day ahead. A brief trip to Nagisa's in Iwatobi and hopefully a little bit of swimming.

Haruka wouldn't hold his breath though. Usually when he made his way to Nagisa's home the two of them ventured out towards the beach to talk. Considering the blonde had graduated and was working as a swimming instructor at Iwatobi SC Returns, parents being home wasn't really a problem since he was gone most of the time. But when the two young men wanted to hardcore hang out, home really wasn't the best place. Even so, every week or two when Haruka would come to visit and swim he and Nagisa would occasionally run into Coach Goro. A few words were exchanged and the two would swim leisurely for a few hours before heading to the beach. By the time it was all said and done, Haruka would've missed the last bus and would walk home for the evening. An hour walk that the raven haired male didn't mind.

Shifting his weight to his left foot, Haruka's right foot propped up against the pole with a small squeak from his converse. He still felt the desire to swim above all else, but he had more important matters to attend to today. Like.. looking for a job. It wouldn't hurt to see if something quiet was hiring. A bookstore perhaps? Sighing, Haruka took another swig of coffee and heard the sound of the bus approaching. Finally, He would be able to get off of his feet and sit his bum down.

Unfortunately, He'd be saying goodbye to this beautiful morning once there was always tomorrow. The thought of nature's splendors brought a smile to Haruka's face and he firmly planted both feet on the ground. His free hand rummaged in his jean pocket for his mobile and headphones. This was probably the quietest part of the day for him. Aside from the walk from his apartment to here. Plugging one of the small blue buds in and connecting the two he shot a quick text to Nagisa to say he was on his way over and placed the device in his pocket.

Haruka was, to a point an unsociable kind of guy in his early twenties with a laid back personality. He didn't mind conversing with others,it just wasn't a priority. So he kept his noiseless headphones on to avoid conversation. Truth be told he only listened to music on the walk home, though this was a facade for peace.

When the bus came into view it wheeled over to the next stop, the doors opened and Haruka boarded with only the thud of his converses climbing the stairs, he retrieved the given ticket and gave the driver a nod. People half asleep in seats with plenty of space between each passenger was unsettling but Haruka was pleased to quickly find himself a nice quiet spot in the back. He parked his bum averting his gaze from the public to the scenery outside and plugged in the other blue bud.

For a fleeting moment, the thought of riding a bike would probably be more beneficial in more ways than one for the young man, but he found it too exhausting. After a while, Haruka felt his pocket vibrate and he retrieved the device. A message from Nagisa. The raven haired boy read the text, overjoyed and placed the device back in it's cozy spot. He couldn't wait for his visit. It'd been a week and a half since the two had last seen each other.

He had to be honest with himself. He wasn't just going there to visit his beloved friend from swim club. Haruka sunk deeper into his seat and reminded himself of the few items in his backpack. To many it would appear empty, but it did hold a purpose in holding his sketch book, swimming goggles, and at the very bottom, a empty air tight sealed canister. But it wouldn't be empty for long. He knew it was illegal no matter where he went but for the love of Poseidon it was all natural. It was a lot better than the anti-depressants he'd received when he was younger.  
When the bus appraoched his stop, Haruka leaned and reached forward mashing the button on the wall to his left. A brief chime echoed throughout the vehicle and Haruka stood pulling Yen from his back pocket. He'd gotten off here so many times He knew the fee and as the vehicle came to a stop he dropped the ticket and fair amount into the box and exited. Pulling the headphones away he stuffed them into his pocket and began walk to Nagisa's place. Almost there.


	2. Re-Up

"Uh, Your phone is ringing." Haruka finally said after the phone vibrated for the umpteenth time. He really wasn't sure who the caller was but the registered named on screen was 'Run Buns' with a heart. Haruka made a face at the displayed name no telling who it was.

Currently, the raven haired boy was perched at the Hazuki's dining room table having a glass of lemonade while Nagisa was going around the house (free of his parents) looking for a lighter.

"Yeah.. Jut a minute, Haru-Chan." The nickname was wearing thin over the years but Haruka let it slide. Haru was just enough. But, no sense to say anything about it now this late in the game. After some luck and more ignored text messages that vibrated on the table, The blonde returned sliding the lighter on to the table and it slid toward Haruka. "There ya go!" His cheerful tone matched his expression. You couldn't even tell the guy was stoned out of his mind. Apparently the man had gone out earlier while Haruka was still getting ready to leave. Parking his bum on top of the table, Nagisa stretched his arms above his head letting out a loud sigh.

Taking the lighter in hand Haruka flicked at it. Not really a nervous twitch but something to keep his hands busy. His other hand following the trails of sweat down from his cold beverage. It was so interesting when he thought about things like this. This had to prove that he had too much time on his hands. He relaxed further into the chair looking at the items in each of his hands.

In his left, his glass of lemonade which was of course a liquid, more specifically, water. In his right was the lighter, at any moment with a flick of his thumb fire would come alive. The element of life in one hand and the element of destruction in the other. It baffled him. Had it always been human nature to posses both elements of great power in life so carelessly? Why was he thinking of this now? When he resurfaced from his inner exploration Nagisa had walked from the room now chatting away on the phone. Polishing off his drink, the man silently excused himself from the table and grabbed his backpack from off the back of the chair throwing the now half full canister and lighter into the main open pouch before zipping it shut.

No he was ready to go. He could hit up a few places to see who was hiring on the way back and he could reward himself when he got home. Haruka had only been jobless for about three weeks and it wasn't that he neglected in going out the very moment he was fired but he was mainly living off of his savings until he got around to it. Thinking about it now made his stomach turn. When did he become so lazy? It wasn't a big deal. He was fine and he was happy.  
A shout came from Nagisa's room and rushed stomping followed toward the taller of the two. "Rei is on his way here and he said he saw Rin a few blocks from here!" The blonde seemed a bit too chipper to see Rei but that solved who 'Run Buns' was. Haruka shuddered internally.

"And?" As soon as he said it he regretted it. His voice was so monotone and he didn't mean for it to sound how it did. Thankfully it fell on deaf ears. Nagisa was running around straightening up small things here and there for his company. "Go see Rin! We can hang out whenever you come back. I know you're are going to be busy today." The man was in front of the Raven haired man before he could blink and the blondes eyes were blood shot. It played to his advantage that his eye color was Magenta. The guy was a trip, but he wouldn't have Nagisa any other way. Before he knew it he was pulled into a brief hug and Nagisa rushed him out the door ushering him to swiftly meet with Rin. A few more exchanged words with the blonde that he would meet briefly with the swimmer there was a small good bye an the door separated them.

Truth be told, Haruka was nervous. Rin was a good friend to him but the man could smell drugs and alcohol like a blood hound. The guy hated that kind of stuff and within reason Haruka could understand him. But they both lead different lifestyles now and getting a lecture from Rin was not something Haruka was wanting to sign up for.

The raven haired man was so thankful he chose not to smoke anything while he was at the Hazuki residence because now Rin came into view. Short and sweet, there was nothing to worry about. Rin was in a black jacket, and matching pants similar to the ones he had at his high school. Only now, his burgundy hair in the back was tied in a ponytail. He leaned against a telephone pole lost in his own little world. Maybe it would be wrong to disturb his good friend from his live. He seemed to be doing great since Haruka last saw the guy. But Rin had always had things planned out. Ready to face his future head on. He was steady and he was comfortable. A terrible emotion welled inside Haruka's chest. This was Envy, he was sure.  
"Rin!" He called out and The red head whipped up locking eyes with the other. Closing the distance the two men bumped fists before Rin hid a hand in his Burgundy locks, apologetically.

"Hey Haru! Sorry, I can't stay and chat long, you should call me and we can hang out!" The swimmer smiled wide, friendly as always. Haruka tried his best to remember if he had Rin's phone number or not but it didn't matter.  
"Why don't you text me first?" Again, way to monotone for his own liking and he internally cringed at his own tone. Being good hearted as he was Rin laughed. The two exchanged numbers and some how this left a content feeling in the raven haired man's body. The ill feeling of envy withering away with the power of kindness.

Before too long Rin departed from his spot by Nanase and headed toward the bus stop. Given where the sun was It was mid day. Maybe now would be the best time to go into his small home town and find somewhere to dine.  
Another fifteen walk came and went and Haruka found himself approaching a restaurant he'd not been familiar with. Given that he use to live in this little town, He knew most if not all the little eateries specifically for dining solo. He shrugged the thought aside and slid the door open. Seated, backpack under the table, and jacket removed and folded to the side Haruka looked up just in time to see his server, handing him a colorfully laminated sheet.

"Good afternoon Sir. How are you doing today? " Haruka didn't even look to gaze down at the menu. It laid on the table forgotten as pools of Sapphire scanned past his servers form at the figure who'd appeared in the back entrance of the small restaurant. Haruka's chest tightened underneath his white cotton tee and his pulse increased.

"I'm fine.." He said, finally averting his gaze to the menu. For a first today he recognized his own tone and became a bit more flustered. Obviously the lack of not eating breakfast was really getting to him today. Clearing his throat the man ordered a water and the server was gone. Haruka closed his eyes in frustration feeling the pulse in his temple pound. Why did his body respond in such a way just now. Was he going crazy?

Nothing was certain but it was possible after all. Still, never in his life had he seen a man like that. Tall with such shabby brown hair, and dark glasses that formed his face just so. This unknown man had decorated skin in all sorts of designs and patterns. What stood out the most in that moment was a broad and majestic whale design curving around his toned forearm. His skin was sun kissed and he looked like heaven. But Haruka was imagining it. Looking around cautiously, no sign of the walking canvas could be seen here. Internally, Haruka sighed. That kind of person would be so out of character here. Or maybe the guy worked here. Wasn't that a safety issue? No, It had to have been a trick of the eyes.  
It never seemed possible to feel disappointment and relief in the same moment. Strange.

After a small meal of Mackerel and seaweed salad, Haruka was off once again to hopefully find someplace to score employment.


	3. Excuses

It was almost dusk before Haruka decided it was best to wrap up his day and head back home. To his delight he was able to hit up a lot of places for applications and briefly spoke to a few managers. To his misfortune all of them seemed amused at Haruka's appearance and dismissed the man's hopes for employment, saying to fill out a form and they would call when they had an opening. It was disheartening but at least he was trying. He had to remember to avoid retail stores from now on but in just a couples of weeks or less he would be desperate for anything.

As he approached the bus stop he shifted his backpack straps to a more comfortable position holding onto the straps like it was a life support line. The process of the long day was weighting him down, and his feet were screaming. Maybe a bike would be best in the near future, especially if he was to get a job this far away. When the raven haired man stopped he was thankful to see his Tervis he'd forgotten way earlier in the day, shocked it had not been stolen. The dolphin cup had a few scratches and dirt covering it but Haruka brushed it off and shouldered off his backpack, storing it inside to at least give it a safe journey home.

The familiar hum of the bus engine and squeaky breaks was a joyous thing to hear and Haruka boarded immediately. There was a different driver this evening but the two nodded at one another and withdrawing a ticket he walked down the small isle. Only two people where on the bus by the entrance. A old couple huddled together on his left and he gave them a brief smile in passing, and planted his bum in the same spot as this morning.

Once situated with his backpack between his knees he saw no reason to pull out his headphones. Rather, enjoying the pallet of color that painted the vast sky was entertainment enough. Haruka watched as the sun set and only twinkling hues of blue and black replaced the happy pastels and his eyes grew heavy. He needed to tough it out till he got home. Aside from making dinner, he had a bowl of hash at home with his name on it.

Breaking his spaced out daze, he dug through his backpack easily retrieving his sketchpad and his charcoal pencil. Even though drawing on the bus would prove irritating, Haruka had to busy himself somehow. After minutes of doodling, the bus came to a stop letting a passenger on. Haruka didn't look up and continued but he listened. A small conversation between the new passenger and the driver was brief and the bus was back in motion. Whomever it was had just moved into Haruka's peripheral, thumbs looped through a leather belt and looming over to see what was on the gratified sketchpad under his sweating palms.

"Ah! Well, you're quite the artist!" A smoky voice ringed in Haruka's ears and his heart stopped when he looked up. It had to be the compliment this time that was making his cheeks suddenly turn scarlet.

"Thanks." Haruka said flatly. Now that this mystery man was in front of Haruka he stared at his arms. His robust arms were hidden with oceanic plants that decorated his bicep above his broad orca tattoo and on his other arm, a cherry branch with a few scattered blossoms intertwined up his forearm and what looked to be a tribal cat design. When Haruka's curious eyes lifted to meet the others the same warm feeling from earlier at lunch started to burn between his lungs. Bright jade pools watched the raven haired man through black rimmed lenses and Haruka could swear he could faintly smell honey. He was losing his mind for sure.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to invade!" He chuckled, his expression calming to a pleased maturity and gave a small nod. His towering form walked up the isle and taking a seat across from the old snoozing couple. Haruka couldn't break his gaze and when he did his eyes fell to the drawing pad, and he began scribbling, viciously.

He was perplexed about meeting this mystery man once again today. He must have not seen Haruka earlier. But how can that be when their eyes definitely caught one another. Maybe it was all in his head after all. But why on earth was he at the small restaurant earlier? Obviously his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. He couldn't wait to get home and away from the outside for the night. Haruka was so wrapped up in his thoughts, the shabby brunette had reached his stop and with a fleeting glance at the mystery boy at the back of the bus, smiled, and departed.  
When Haruka looked up and saw the object of his mind gone he looked out the window in time to see him ride his bicycle away from the bus stop. The warmth in his chest clenched like a damp dish rag being rung out too tightly and the bus pulled away. What was this emotion that boiled in his veins that made his heart pace quicken, his palms sweat, and his teeth nervously working at the inside of his cheek.

Once home, Haruka locked the door behind himself and unlaced his shoes and unhooking his arms from his backpack. Walking inside his apartment, he walked down the small hallway to his bedroom. Once inside and door closed he sat on his bed and unpacked. In a matter of moments, he was inhaling his favorite plant. His first exhale of smoke sent a cloud up and automatically he thought lighting incense would be best in here. After he did as such he brought all the applications he'd gathered throughout the day, his pipe, and Nagisa's lighter, and headed to the kitchen. Might as well be productive the rest of the day so tomorrow he could lounge.

Dinner was simple, rice, and he filled out maybe half of his applications. It was too quiet in his apartment and the only sounds that could be heard was small inhales and coughing fits. It was relaxing to be alone but tonight things just seemed eerie. After filling out the fifth application he was starting to get sleepy and distracted. His thoughts kept going back to his day. Nagisa talking to someone, being all secretive to a point, and there was just a flirtatious aura about him every time he looked down at his mobile. Now that Haruka thought about, Rin had the same air about him. Excusing himself so suddenly after Nagisa let him know of Rin's whereabouts. Oh well, all of them had their quirks and he hoped to see a text from the red head and Nagisa in the morning. But most of all, his discovery of probably the most handsome person he'd ever see-

Wait..

Inwardly he had to remind himself that he, Haruka Nanase, was not by any stretch of the imagination, gay. Besides, He didn't have a thing for anything really but guys was probably at the bottom of the totem pole. He had to admit though, if he ever did start to dig on dudes he would definitely sign up for that.

Dishes forgotten, papers left disorderly on the table, and polishing off the rest of his hash, Haruka slowly made his way back into his bedroom. Sleep was falling over him quickly but his mind was still going a thousand miles a minute. It seemed everyone was having their own little secrets. To each his own. For Haruka, it meant to be alone.

The raven haired man didn't bother to change clothing. The very thought of it was tiresome. His pipe and lighter slid from his numb hand and on to the rug. His face felt warm but his entire body felt like ice. He needed warmth, he needed to figure out why he'd been depressed for so long. Everyone seemed to be moving on around him and he had been ending his evenings the same for the last five years since he' moved out of his grandma's house. He had to remind himself that it was only natural to think this way and everything would work out. He had to put past things behind him. Things would get better. He would be able to find a job, see what his friends have been keeping secret, and most importantly he'd never have to see that beautiful man ever again.


	4. Frantic

When Haruka woke up the next morning he was dazed and a little confused. To his sincere delight he did receive a few light texts from Rin. The raven haired man stumbled around all morning from the ass crack of dawn till noon eating and doing what he wanted at his leisure. His head was still foggy from the night before and a small smile was plastered on his face. It was a good day so far.

Shortly pasted noon, Haruka sipped from his Tervis enjoying his third cup of coffee and (slowly) finished his applications. He had some how found new hope for himself today that he will strive high for employment and succeed. He would not let his depressive side to take over and push his happiness back. He had to learn to not be envious of others and focus on himself till was where he wanted to be. He needed hope and to be sure of himself. Finished with said applications and thankfully by the time his phone rang, the fogginess had cleared from his mind. He immediately picked up.

"Hello?" His voice was hoarse but none the less, polite.

"Sup Haru-Chan! Sorry about yesterday. Did you see Rin?" The ever cheerful Nagisa, with a bit of sympathy lacing his tone. It was comforting.

"Ah.. Yeah. But he didn't stay for too long. Said he had to go.." Haruka stated, with a clearer tone. His mind pondered on the Hazuki's sudden disappearance as well, but shouldered the subject for the time being. It wasn't his place to worry about the others personal life even if they seemed to share every other subject with one another.

"Aww, that's a shame. Well, you two can hang out again soon, right?" Haruka could practically hear the blonde smile. Haruka nodded but it wasn't heard or seen.

"So, any luck with a job?" Nagisa stretched the sentence long in a teasing fashion making one of Haruka's eyes twitch. It had only been day two. This guy really had a way with words.

"No. But I just finished a lot of applications to turn in tomorrow." Haruka said, looking over at the small pile of eight and a half by eleven tree shavings littered with ink.

"Sweet! Oh! There is someone I want you to meet tomorrow too! You're coming over right?" Haruka held his phone away a little with how loud the blonde was now, his pitch rising over the last word. Once Haruka was certain it was safe he pressed said phone to his ear once more, hesitating before speaking.

"...Is it 'Run-Buns?' " Nagisa was quiet this time, and the raven haired man took that for a yes. Well, that settled that. Both sides of the phone line erupted into laughter, more so for Nagisa.

"Guess you'll just have to see!"

More puns and jokes were exchanged and a meeting tomorrow was established. Having a positive attitude was certainly making things brighter in just a days time. The smile on Haruka's face grew just a bit more after hanging up with his friend. Hours passed and the quiet air of his home was starting to get to the man. Haruka watched the time tick away sitting in the tub, laying in bed, texting, and playing Pokemon only to lose interest after ten minutes. Finally, he decided it was best to get out and have a late afternoon walk. He had plenty of energy to burn and it was his favorite part of the day. Stretching out and getting some fresh air wouldn't hurt. After sliding his keys into his pocket and sliding on his converses without bothering to tie them, Haruka left his apartment. He walked seeing the sun starting to descend behind the trees he'd grown so fond of over the last few years.

Thankfully He'd decided to venture out of his small home while it was still pretty bright outside and to his delight, beautiful shades of orange and pink were starting to melt together behind puffy white clouds. He walked for a good mile just starting at the scenery before he was halted to attention. One foot went down, and his other foot was caught mid air. He'd stepped on his own laces and face planted on the ground in the middle of crossing a road. Haruka grunted climbing to his knees and both hands began rubbing his sore face. Embarrassing. He really needed to pay attention to what he was doing. A small screech was heard and then foot steps approached Haruka. When he pulled his hands away he looked up at the approaching figure. He forgot he was sitting in the middle of the road. He'd forgotten all about his pretty little sky and his happy environment. His nice walk and all the good vibes about the day were gone in a flash.

"Hey! Are you okay? I - uh..." The voice was out of breath and concerned. Haruka wasn't even sure now if this voice was calming or frustrating to him but for now he concerned himself with the fact alone that this guy was here. _Again_. His chest tightened.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Haruka snapped, standing and shoving his hands in his jean pockets. Maybe he should run. He wanted to, but something was holding him back. The swelling in his chest was growing. This was dangerous. He was getting out of check and needed to get away. Keeping his back turned to the brunette, Haruka cut his eyes to look at the gorgeous figure. His glasses were lopsided and his face was crimson and beaded with sweat. The poor thing was out of breath. Behind him was his bike Haruka had seen him ride away with yesterday toppled over on the ground, forgotten. Then a fearful thought struck him like lightening.

Before another exchange of dialog struck between them, the raven haired man darted down the street. It wasn't the best decision at all with killer laces at his feet but he needed to get away from that man. His day was going so well before he fell. No, his entire day was good until he ran into that.. stalker. Haruka ran into his apartment, slamming the door shut and locking it. This wasn't good. This was the last thing he needed. He didn't need a damn stalker. To be blunt, he wasn't entirely sure that was the case but he wouldn't take any chances. He couldn't with what he had here. He fled to his lone window in his living room and double checked to make sure it was locked, pulling the curtains closed. It was night fall and his anxiety was sky rocketing. His laid back attitude was deteriorating since he'd ran away from whale man. His heart was pounding and the tension in his lungs was craving relaxation. He needed to chill. But he needed piece of mind before all.

 _'I think I have a stalker.'_

Haruka sat at his table resting his chin in his palm, his other hand working up another message to send to Rin.

 _'I'm not sure that's the case, but I'm freaking out.'_

Sent. The hand not supporting his face rested next to his mobile. He sat still and waited desperately for a reply.

 _Rin: 'Seriously!? How do you know?'_

Haruka pondered this a moment and began to work away at the touch screen. His palms were starting to sweat.

 _'Yesterday he was at the restaurant across the street from the old swim club. Plus he was on the bus last night when I was going home. And earlier, he approached me in the street when I was going for a walk._ '

Several minutes went by after Haruka sent that text and every passing minute made his head spin faster. Why was he being so worked up about this? He thought he wouldn't have to deal with that guy ever again. But it was like he as every where now.

 _Rin: 'Weird. What does he look like?'_

Haruka arched a brow at the lack of concern from his friend. Maybe it really was Haruka making a big deal out of it, but he didn't think so. The raven haired man gave the slightest of pouts, now using both hands to text. A small disapproving creased formed between his brows describing the man.

 _'Tattoos. Lots of them. Brown hair. Glasses. Tall. Rides a bike. That's all I know.'_

Both hands relaxed and intertwined in his dark hair, elbows resting on the table. Every encounter with the stalker was actually rather pleasant. That was probably the most uncomfortable thing of all. Haruka never had a random person approach him like last night. He'd kept inside his little bubble and that's where he liked it. He didn't branch out to people and none branched out to him. It was a winning situation for everyone. He had Nagisa and now Rin for sure. He'd always been good friends with Rin but losing contact with an old friend dulls things down, but it was nothing that couldn't be easily restored. Haruka's mind began to fill with all the good possibilities of rekindling with Rin and bettering himself but the feeling in his chest didn't subside. This must have been fear.

 _Rin: 'LOL I know who you are talking about.. He's no stalker. Relax.'_

Sapphire eyes widened rereading the last message ripping him from his thoughts. Rin knew this person? And he wasn't a stalker? Oh, this was music to Haruka's ears. The raven haired man gave a long sigh of relief, the fear in his chest subsiding slowly. Now Haruka just had to be cautious of what he did, just in case that man showed up again. Rin's words weren't Gospel, but he trusted the man. A lot was not certain and a lot certainly had to be said. One thing was for sure, he had to remember to not freak out like that again.


	5. Free

When Haruka woke up the next morning he was severely disappointed to see storm clouds. Tervis of coffee in hand he waited impatiently for the bus. Music buds already shoved into his ears and phone in hand, he texted Nagisa to alert the other that he was on his way.

A roar of thunder echoed across the sky and Haruka gazed up hoping to see a bolt of lightening to flash overhead. To further his disappointments, not a flash was to be seen. He heaved a sigh and thought over his mishaps of the prior day. He needed to be veiled in some sort of protection from that man. Unfortunately, running into him was becoming a unwanted daily thing. He hoped to all that was holy today wasn't one of those days. He couldn't think of what would happen the next time the two of them came face to face, if ever again. His hopes were high and he would refuse reality as best he could at this point. Still the very thought of the shabby brown haired man helped fuel a vibrant blush across Haruka's tired features. Rin said he wasn't a stalker but Haruka's body stated some else entirely. It was frustrating. It was interesting. But he needed no part of it. He shook his head free of those thoughts and saw the bus come into view and another roar of thunder echoed through the sky. He had more important matters to attend to.

The morning high of his few tokes still swirled in his head and lungs teasing at his depth perception. He must have looked like a drunk getting on but he didn't care. Dare say, Haruka had to keep from giving a public laugh at himself. Once aboard the bus, he took his ticket as per usual and gave a nod at the driver. The driver didn't bother to make eye contact with Haruka which was fine. This driver wasn't particularly friendly anyway as the raven haired recalled. Still, Haruka made his way down the small isle avoiding a few people as they slept, and a few others looming over their portable devices. Seated in his usual spot in the back Haruka glanced out the window as another crack of thunder came bellowing through the air. A few people jumped in their seats and the raven haired man smirked slightly. He gave a long swig to his coffee and looked at the time. It was early enough to catch a bit more sleep, so snuggling up against the cold window Haruka did just that.

Haruka woke up to the bus shaking him awake gently and a chilly gust giving him shivers. The temperature had went down drastically since it'd started to rain. Haruka felt his high buzz harboring slightly and behind it was a building headache. Haruka shook his head becoming more aware of his surroundings. Looking out the window he watched the near by signs going by and saw he hadn't missed his destination. Good, only two more stops to go. Only now he wasn't looking forward to exiting into the muggy air. Polishing off his cold coffee he slipped the cup into his empty shoulder bag save for a few pens and his sketch book. Checking over his mobile again he heaved another sigh. No new messages from Nagisa or from Rin. Should he initiate the first message today to Rin? He didn't want to seem desperate for attention from his friend but another person to talk to would be nice.

At this moment, was he feeling truly feeling lonely? It was still too early to tell.

He stuffed his mobile into his jean pocket and zipped up his black jacket under the cross body strap. A nice change from his sweater from the other day but the polyester material made him sweat. He mashed the button on the wall of the bus and waited for the vehicle to come to a stop. Haruka smiled but even he knew the expression was just a mask right now. But it was better to smile through something unpleasant than to let it get him down or in the least seem irritated.

After his payment and departure of the dry bus, he sprinted to the nearest place with a sliver of shelter. He patted his hands dry and reached into his pocket. A quick text to Nagisa to let him know he would be drenched by the time he arrived. Safety stuffing the device away Haruka was once again sprinting through the rain to the Hazuki residence.

For a unholy reason it was then that unwanted thoughts of past employment filled Haruka's mind. His first, and recently lost, job given to him thanks to his father. Pulling a few strings Haruka's father managed an agreement with a business partner. Haruka, having freshly graduated, moved to be closer to his given job and there the raven haired young man, at the time, spent his time in that office. Day after day with endless files of paperwork to type up. Each day was a depressing waste. He'd clock in, sit down and type, then clock out. Each day his tie would be too tight around his collared shirt and even loosening it to breathe freely was chaos. All in all what he despised most was that his boss was a dick. Who cared if it was his dad's friend? He sure as hell didn't. Why the hell should he care? Haruka's dad never gave a second thought about his happiness. Never.

Haruka couldn't even remember what he'd always be typing either and that itself was something to laugh at. He'd always space out, only concentrating after getting scolded for his lack of motivation and his flame of productivity would sizzle. Thankfully revisiting Iwatobi reminded him what it meant to be free and under a pep talk and being introduced to herbal remedies by Nagisa, Haruka said fuck it and quit all together. He had nothing to lose. Except his job of course but money could always be gained one way or another.

Now, he was on his own. He'd officially burned that bridge with his father, and that was perfectly fine. The smile on Haruka's soaked face widened. He was happy this time around now, but he needed a job. That was his only problem. Right?

Chest heaving, a breathless Haruka leaned over resting his palms on his knees, water dripping from his clothing and raven locks. Inwardly, Haruka laughed and his face screwing up in self amusement at the thought alone that his first impression to Nagisa's friend was that he was Wet. The door opened and all expression and color fell from Haruka's face. Instantly he was so glad he didn't say any of that out loud.


	6. Meeting

Parents were awkward, there was no other way to put it. As soon as the door opened Haruka was greeted by Nagisa's parents. A towel was given to him and tea was offered but Haruka only took the towel to dry off as best he could. The shared their overbearing happiness to see the man that their son had known since they were kids but being polite as Haruka was, he managed to say his hellos and slip away to the blondes room hoping to take safety. That guy had some nerve letting the parental piranhas eat Haruka alive once he got here. No wonder he didn't respond back.

"Haru-Chan! Thank god you're here!" Nagisa said gleefully and a bit louder than normal upon opening his bedroom door. Nagisa pulled the puzzled raven haired man into his room by the wrist and shutting the door just as fast. Haruka was happy to see it was only himself and the blonde in the room but that posed so many of questions. Haruka was super glad his high was completely gone now because if he was Nagisa he'd be freaking out too. But the blonde looked sober.  
"What the hell.." Haruka muttered arching an annoyed brow at seeing Nagisa's back pressing to the door, his magenta eyes wide. The guy looked like his room was surrounded in cops. Haruka pursed his lips and waited for the obviously panicking blonde to speak.

"I told Rei-Chan to meet us here but he isn't here yet! And my parents are here!" Nagisa all but cried his chest still heaving.  
"And don't forget it's raining." Haruka added flatly ruffling his hair with the towel, thank god his clothes were dying pretty fast. Still Haruka couldn't help but sympathize with his friend and gave a small smile from underneath the towel taking few steps away from the door and sitting down. He was tired of standing after his water logged sprint and his wet jeans were starting to give him hell.

"Haru this isn't funny!" Nagisa whined with normal breathe returning and sliding down to the floor, parking his bum. His eyes were still wide with panic and his bottom lip quivered. Haruka could only ponder if the blonde did this to everyone he was friends with and his imagination served that image perfectly. He smile grew with his amusement.

"Relax. I made it just fine, didn't I?" Maybe his tone was a bit too monotone. Haruka's toned warmed with a desperate idea,"Since your parents are here, we don't have to stay, do we?" Haruka asked trying to ease the blondes worrying mind.

Nagisa's expression melted to a calm and composed smile at Haruka's proposal and pulled out his mobile. After a few moments of twitching toes and texting thumbs, Nagisa stood up and approached his book bag on his bed. He began packing it for their outing his smile never leaving his face.

"Rei-Chan is almost here. We should smoke some when we get back later!" The blonde said with a genuine cheerfulness. Haruka nodded, towel left forgotten on the floor as the two headed downstairs to meet with Rei before he could make it to the porch.

Haruka was pleasantly surprised too see Nagisa had befriended a man taller than the two of them. But non so more shocking was the man's hair color. Dark blue and to top it off was his Amethyst eyes. He wore a white collared shirt and black slacks. His expressions were elegant and he wore glasses, red rimmed. He looked like a nerd. But hey, Haruka didn't judge. He just called them like he saw them.

"Nice to meet you Nanase Haruka." Rei said politely, holding out his hand. The three men stood on Nagisa's porch and said was blonde grinning ear to ear as Haruka took Rei's hand giving a slight shake.

"It's just.. Haru." Haruka nodded, and returned his hand to his jacket pocket. Nagisa was more than comfortable with giving barely any personal space to both men but more so to Rei. They were practically all over each other making their way down the side walk under the same umbrella. Haruka was happy to have his own little shelter shell. Some how seeing the two so close under the umbrella seemed a bit like one of those things you do with a significant other. The feeling in Haruka's chest made the man wonder what it must feel like. He shoved the fluttering thought away and focused on the most important thing of all. And as far as Haruka could tell, Rei seemed to be a nice person and that was all that mattered.

The rain persisted lightly and all three men walked toward a small street of shops engaging in meaningless conversation that was light and pleasant. Both umbrellas were folded and bound as the three men weaved in and out of small shops. Eventually at one place Nagisa suggested they have a break and settle down for some lunch.  
It was a pleasant lunch indeed. Rei and Haruka talked about all sorts of different fish as they pointed to different entrees on the menu in each of their hands, Nagisa already ordering drinks for all heads at the table. Once said drinks arrived the blonde sucked away at his strawberry smoothie and Rei was soon to follow. Haruka sipped his smoothie, mango flavored, noticing their table was in the back of the restaurant. No window to behold the outdoors where other shops were yet to be explored and Haruka to be distracted by the small glances Nagisa was giving Rei. The three split two rolls of sushi, payment was made and they were off once more to enjoy the day.

Upon their stumbling to avoid another wave of rain the threesome found themselves in a quite book store. The doors were left open with the rain echoing in as background music instead of a hidden radio. None of them were sure how long this store had been here but it was new and intriguing. Nagisa spotting the manga isle a few rows down grabbed Rei's wrist and the two darted away, the Ultramarine haired man protesting immediately.

Haruka smiled at the duo disappearing and glanced around pondered where to start first. There must have been about fifteen rows of bookshelves that were stocked from ceiling to floor from one end of the store to the other. There were a few entry ways between all the shelves and at first glace the shop seemed to be like a maze. The the door ways and attached to small strings from the ceiling, small signs hung here and there indicating loosely where everything was placed and in what order. Of course Nagisa saw probably the largest, most colorful of all of them. The majority of signs were written on pieces of cardboard with sharpie.

A couple of rows back Haruka spotted 'self healing and new age' and curiosity peaked. The raven haired man scanned the titles and made a face at most of them. He had to wonder what the authors were on to create such cheesy titles.

"Is there something I can help you with?" A smoky voice asked politely and loud enough only for Haruka to hear. Sapphire pools widened and oh he heard it alright. Haruka could have swore his face was nice and cool from the rain two seconds ago. He could hear his heart beat in his ears and it was too fast for his liking.  
He turned his vision from the hard spines to the entrance of the small isle and there stood the walking canvas in all is glory.

Both men look at each other with wide eyes. A silence fell between the two and Haruka was the first to turn his attention desperately back to the books.

"Just.. browsing." He lied, now he lost all interesting in browsing books. He needed knowledge about the man staring at him with gorgeous green eyes.

"Oh! Are you Haru?" The shabby haired man said cheerfully and it sent arrows through Haruka's chest to hear the man call him by his name. Yeah, he was definitely going to text Rin later.

"Yeah.." The raven haired man sounded interested and bored but inside he was sure he was going into combustion. Not sure from being nervous about running into this guy for the millionth time, or for the sheer fact that he was perfect in every way at it was uncomfortable, Haruka was tired of this burning in his chest. No, it wasn't just in his chest, his entire body felt engulfed in flames and he resisted acknowledging it. What was even more annoying was the fact that this sickening feeling had no name. None what so ever. Maybe if Haruka was lucky he could find the least cheesy of the self help books and run. Wait.. that would be stealing. Shit. For the love of Poseidon was there no end to this?!

The man grinned, seeming to grow more cheerful, "We just keep running into each other, don't we?" He gave a soft laugh and continued more hushed, "Mind if we talk in the back? I feel like I owe you an apology."

Haruka nodded and followed the man, dressed in black jeans with a black apron wrapped around his waist. He wore a band shirt that said The Smiths and his black glasses as always.

Nagisa and Rei peaked from the end of the isle they'd run off to and speculated the scene. Giving each other a brief glance, blinking twice, and back at a retreating Haruka with one of the employees the door closed to a crack.

"Uh.." Rei cleared his throat, "Should we investigate?"

Magenta eyes grew fiery, "Hell yeah!"


	7. Come

"What.. is your name?" Haru dead panned, sitting in the empty folding chair in the small room.

"Sorry! My name is Makoto Tachibana." The man gave a soft smile and folded his artistic arms, leaning back against the wall. Haruka studied the cherry blossoms curving up Makoto's bicep and locked eyes him. He'd commit the name to memory and probably brand it into his very soul if he could. But that would just be fucking crazy. Makoto licked his lips, shifting uncomfortably under the Sapphire gaze.

' _For fucks sake Nanase, get a damn grip!_ ' Haruka scolded himself and straightening his back in his seat. His body wasn't listening to his commands. His breathing was, thankfully, normal. His heart rate was increasing, gradually, and his palms were beginning to get clammy.

"Haru, I know we have been running into each a lot suddenly but I promise they are all coincidences. I'm sure we live in the same neighborhood given what happened yesterday."

Makoto living in the same neighborhood as him? God, he needed to move. But what good would that do? The man wasn't a problem in any way. If Haruka was honest with himself he could admit that this sun kissed man was a decent, polite guy who was just (like he said) just popping up at just the right times. Too often for comfort.

A raven brow twitched and sapphire pools narrowed. "But you got off the bus before I even made it home the other night.." Haruka said, monotone.  
Shocked reflected in those greens pools across the room if only for a moment. Makoto reverted back to a calm expression. Why was he so surprised by Haruka remembering that?

"I had to come back here because I forgot my phone." He was embarrassed to admit it scratching the back of his head.

"Oh.." Haruka said dumbly averting his gaze. Seeing Nagisa giving him a thumbs up through the crack of the door. Haruka felt himself flush.  
He swore he was going to beat everyone's ass at the end of this day.

Makoto turned on his heel at the desk behind him and produced a few forms and handed them to Haruka.

"Rin told me that you have been looking for a job so.. I mean, I'm not the manager but I've been here since we opened and we'd love to have you here!" Makoto chirped, his every smiling face glowing.

Haruka, forms in hand, smiled at the other man and gave a small nod. He could feel his heart swell up under his jacket and his face was filling with more blood each passing second. So, Rin had told canvas man about being unemployed to. It was comforting and embarrassing, but at least the burgundy haired man was comfortable with this guy.

An awkward moment passed before Makoto broke the silence.

"I am sorry for all the evasiveness and y'know.. " The man crossed the room cracking the door open further and peered out.

"It's alright. We have both been awkward." Haruka admitted watching the man from under his fringe. Truly this man.. was beautiful inside and out. Reaching for his bag and retrieved a pen Haruka sighed, "Thank you. This means a lot to me, Makoto."

A lot of crazy shit had happened in just a few days time but now Makoto was making up for it. Not that this man owed him anything. Makoto was free, like Haruka, to do whatever he wanted. Truly this was a kind thing for anyone to do out of the goodness of their heart. Haruka knew he'd be fine working here, even if it wasn't for long. He wouldn't have to worry about money or pondering the thought of wasting his life. He could find a reason to see Nagisa, Rin, and Rei more and build his friendships with them.

This was more than enough to make Haruka anxious and even a little a bit overwhelmed. Especially with the light shade of pink dusting Makoto's cheeks and accompanying smile that just never seemed to fade.  
At the sight of the blushing man Haruka felt his throat sink to a new level of parched.

He emptied his hands into his lap and quickly retrieved his Tervis from his bag "Um... Do you have a water fountain here?"

Makoto nodded, "I'll be back in a few minutes, Haru".

Finger tips brushed slightly and the man was gone leaving the door open. He passed Nagisa and Rei whom made themselves a spot on the floor in one of the nearby isles both engrossed in a book. Haruka's vision blurred out his friends, the books, and everything entirely.

Everything but Makoto.

He smelled of honey, so sweet and intoxicating with a hint of cigarettes. His touch, even for just a brief moment was like flames stroking Haruka before painfully retreating. Above all the most enticing thing was his voice, still fresh to him as it echoed in Haruka's mind like a melody.

' _I want him to say my name more..._ ' Haruka tossed his fringe out of his watery eyes and made work on his application pushing ever emotion from his mind and body. He had to ignore the way his heart pounded between his lungs threatening to burst. Oh what he would give to be home right now. He wanted to get away from this man. He needed to get away from Makoto.

"Here you go." The door opened and closed behind Makoto and he was back at his spot at the desk setting a few books down. The raven haired man didn't pull his attention from the paperwork his hand still busily writing. Makoto slightly amused at the man's concentration came to Haruka's side and spoke more quietly.

"Haru.. here." When the raven haired man averted his eyes at the offered cup, he took it having a long swig before setting it down by his feet. He was so close to finishing his application if he stopped now he would be afraid of not finishing it.

Makoto waited in silence, observing. He wondered just what was it that made the world turn just so for him to meet the man in front of him. Haruka seemed so quiet and reserved that it was almost unsettling. It was probably fate that he'd seen the raven haired man because Haruka wasn't a particularly outgoing person. He just has this vibe like he knew what he wanted in life and just went with the flow with everything. He just seemed too passive on everything. Sadly, that probably explained why he was currently unemployed. Makoto sighed internally. It was all so strange but worrying about it would get them no where.  
It's very hard to concentrate on the last few minor details on a fucking application when you have a sex god looming over you. At this point, Haruka was jotting down anything to hurry up.

Finally finished, Haruka stood and handed the forms to Makoto. He gave a small nod and turned on his heel. Before he could leave, a warm hand grasped his shoulder. Haruka swallowed the lump in his throat, ' _Oh God..._ '

Looking over his shoulder, they locked eyes. Something else was underneath that happy go lucky smile.

"I will give you a call to let you know when to come in." The sun kissed cheeks weren't dusted in rose His glasses framed his face just so like an artifact displayed at the museum. Haruka wanted to touch and dive in closer, but he could only observe. He inhaled deeply, nodded and pulled away.  
Nagisa and Rei were close behind, giving a small wave in passing to Makoto and the trio of men left the maze like bookstore.

* * *

"So you're going to start working there Haru-chan?" Nagia smiled folding together his hands behind his backpack as they walked. The sky was almost clear now as the day was settling down for dusk. The humidity was just bearable enough too. But inside Haruka's mind, there was an endless storm. He barely heard Nagisa but nodded. He was definitely going to walk home today. He needed to get home soon. It was actually a good day apart from the mishap at the Hazuki residence, but now, Haruka's happy air balloon had been shot down just by a single smile. Why did Makoto effect him like this? He was just another guy.. It was weird..

The eye contact, running into each other, the bus, just.. everything. He couldn't name this emotion. He'd never experienced this. The only thing that rattled inside his heart was frustration. Rei patted Haruka on the shouder but the raven haired man pulled instantly, Nagisa and Rei simultaneously made a face.

"Haruka-senpai .. Are you okay?" Rei asked, trying to reassure himself is new friend was alright. Nagisa moved to Harukas other side, giving the man a concerned smile.

"You'll be okay Haru-chan! Every one gets nervous on their first day!"

Haruka's pools hid underneath his fringe. The pounding in his chest averted and plummeted into his stomach. His mind was a war zone and the two men on either side him were starting to see the writing on the wall. 'Run Haru..'

"I'm going home." He said to the ground flatly and started a quick stride toward his destination. 'Faster..'

Blonde brows knitted in concern and tears pricked at Magenta eyes. Rei reached for the others hands, intertwining their fingers. Rei's thumb stroked comfortingly against Nagisa's as they watched the raven haired man's silhouette fade. "Haru-chan.."

* * *

The bookstore was cold unlike earlier and now with the lights shut off Makoto was happy to finally be closing for the day. In the back office he untied his aporn and hung it on the wall hook. The stack of books from the desk in the back he'd left earlier, he shoved one into his book bag. He needed to hurry home and get to his cat. The poor thing was probably starving like he was. All he had to do was lock up and-

He kicked something hard and it tunked over, water sloshed inside the plastic.

' _Haru's cup..._ ' He remembered upon speculation. Maybe he could call the man to let him know his Tervis was here.  
After a few attempts with no answer, Makoto stuffed the cup into his bag. Once he locked up he'd.. wait. His address. The forms lay where they were left. Well, being in the same neighborhood it wouldn't hurt to run it by. Being friendly was good, but wouldn't this just prove he was a stalker or a creep or whatever? Was it allowed to use information at work for personal reasons?

His eyes were like magic..

Pursing his lips, Makoto committed the address to memory.

His raven hair looked good when it was brushed over his face..

Haruka probably would want it in the morning.

His lips were full and desperate for attention. Very tempting..

Traveling by bike was more effective that way. A shiver went up the mans spine and he heaved a sigh. On his bike he pin pointed his route and his heart pace increased.

Damn it.

* * *

Haruka lay on his floor and stared aimlessly at the ceiling. Clouded by THC his apartment was dark and it respectfully reflected his mind. Perfectly. Dazed, confused, dark, and alone. The more he felt he was in his element all of the feelings he was having about Makoto resurfaced. The ache in his chest was as painful as ever and he could feel himself reverting to his old self before Nagisa introduced him to this lovely herb. His brain was tired. His heart was tired. He needed more weed in him. He needed to get rid of this feeling. The world was dizzy and Haruka shut his eyes from it all.  
How much more could he intake before he was completely numb.

* * *

' _Well this is the place..._ ' The shabby haired man mentally noted, flicking away a cigarette butt. Slightly sweaty and bike forgotten he had to remind himself that this was okay, and he was fine. He was helping out a friend, a friend of a friend, maybe a future coworker too. Granted, it was now dark and he was pretty sure Haruka was already inside probably making dinner or getting ready for bed or inside with a girlfriend. The last thought boiled something awful in Tachibana's blood and he smoothed a hand through his hair, readjusting his glasses and smoothed his shirt down. Stepping up to the door he gave a few light knocks huffing a sigh.

' _Come on, Be more confident. Chill out._ ' If no one answered he'd just peddle home and not worry about it. His heart was pounding more now that it had on the way here.

The door opened and Makoto saw it before he smelled it and he cringed, ' _Oh my god.._ '


	8. Goodbye

"Makoto...?" Haruka was squinting staring out into the darkness clutching on the door frame until intense green pools registered in his hazy head, his breath hitched. Haruka could feel his heart pounding ad every part of him screamed obscenities. Well, at least this wasn't Rin.

His eyes dropped and the apron from before was gone. The moon above them made Makoto's skin glisten from a thin layer of sweat. Haruka felt his cheeks burn and made a face. High or not the raven haired man wasn't about to let the canvas man into his head, or in the very least, his heart. Still, against his will his body whirled in smoke and passion.

He could have cursed himself but rather than turn him away, an explanation was in order. It was night time, and it was weird that once again Makoto was running into him. It was different with the man coming directly to Haruka's home and out of the blue too. This just proved he was a stalker. Jeez what was he going to do? He was really considering a move until a chord of pain strummed through him at the single thought alone of leaving. Maybe, rather, leaving and never seeing Makoto again. Said man pulled a Tervis into view and a light bulb went off in the swimmers head.

"You forgot this so I was just returning it." His smiled was forced but ever as sweet. Haruka took the cup and dared a thought.

Right, He'd been so distracted and in a rush to leave he left his damn cup at the book store. God, he was lucky to still have that thing. Grasping it, he internally sighed at the missed opportunity to touch the man one again.

"Well, I should go. Have a good night, Haru." Makoto said to the ground, tossing his shabby brown hair out of his eyes and turned to leave. Haruka felt his teeth start to worry his bottom lip and desperately he swallowed his fears.

"Don't go." His voice came out more desperate than he'd hoped, more blood rushing to his face. The same effect plagued Makoto and the taller man obliged in his new friends request.

Both men joined in Haruka's dark and foggy apartment. It was such a bold invasion of privacy but something about having someone else in his apartment. Comforting as it was, Haruka stumbled slowly across the room leaving the cup Makoto had brought in the sink, in denial that he needed anyone. He was happy with himself. That's all there was to it. Pulling a glass from the overhead cabinet he filled it with water. A nervous sweat was forming on his brow and his heart wouldn't cease to normality. He swear if he could he'd rip out the irritating organ and throw it into the ocean. The raven haired man was on the verge of going into an anxiety attack and all the unsettling feelings were creeping about his head. He could feel those judging, beautiful eyes on him. He refused to acknowledge that Makoto would think of him so low. Makoto didn't know a damn thing about him but deep down he wanted more than anything to show it all to him. But it was a trick. This entire emotion Haruka was diseased with from the sun kissed man was going to kill him.

"Here." Makoto sipped the water graciously at the offered beverage and followed the drugged man to the other side of his apartment. Behind a curtain was a pair of sliding glass doors. Haruka unlocked and both men stepped outside perching themselves on the concrete ground of the fenced in porch.

The moon illuminated the entire porch showing the small attempts of pottery and dead plants Makoto could only assume Haruka had failed in growing. A small jar of old paint brushes was toppled over as well in another corner. There was no telling how long it had been since Haruka had been out here. It wasn't good. Makoto heaved an internal sigh pressing his back against the fence railing with a terrible silence looming between them. He set the glass next to him sneaking a look at the raven haired man. The ever lovely Sapphire eyes were dingy and lifeless, and Haruka's expression matched that sadness.

' _I feel so uncomfortable._ ' Makoto pondered anything to talk about to the man, his fingers tapping the edge of his glasses aimlessly. Haruka didn't budge, didn't blink. He didn't even seem to be breathing.

' _But what should I say to him?_ ' He looked down at his tattooed arms and gave a soft smile. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a lighter and a pack of Pall Mall. A nice distraction for his mind and body, a moment to collect himself before looking like a complete rude ass for leaving against Haruka's wishes.

The soft click of the lighter grabbed the raven haired man's attention and smoke flowed from Makoto's lips. The smoke cloud embraced the atmosphere and drifted away taking the awkward air with it.

"I was recommended this brand from one of the waiters from that sushi shop across from Iwatobi pool..." Makoto took a long drag and exhaled slowly, closing his eyes.

Maybe now was the best time to just try and relax with the drugged man. After all there was no point in being awkward and pretend like they were going to always be strangers. Obviously something was going to happen between them.

' _Don't you dare think that way.._ ' Makoto scolded himself, inhaling more nicotine.

The swimmer swallowed hard watching the chest rise and fall slowly underneath the black material. His vision tracing over those inked arms, the Adam's apple of the neck he desperately wanted to..

"I use to smoke those too." Haruka stated lamely, but Makoto remained where he was. His vision further escalated the sun kissed skin to his relaxed angelic face. Haruka shifted from where he was a straightened his back. He had to focus on something else... Staring at Makoto was going to make him go crazy. But why? He didn't belong to him.

"Really?" Makoto said in a mock surprise. He wasn't surprised at all now that he knew Haruka's little habit but he wouldn't judge. He just wished the man knew what he was doing himself. Just by stepping into his apartment the shabby haired man knew Haruka was a lonely man. A troubled one.

Haruka nodded, "I started smoking at my last job..." His voice dropped to a whisper in remembrance, "I fucking hated it there." And spit.

Uncomfortable as it was Makoto forced the awkward feeling away. He'd stay collected so he could show Haruka it was alright to open up.

' _Don't mention the last job. Got it._ '

But it wasn't that simple, Haruka was already diving back into his past.

"...I had chronic depression. Nothing was worth my time because my time here is useless..."

The two men locked eyes, one desperate to help the other and the other starving for understanding. The one sided conversation was heating up unintentionally. Makoto imagined there was a slight hope that connecting with Haruka was going to happen tonight but tonight was certainly not the night.

"I don't know why I'm telling you this. Feel free to leave when you're tired of me... I know I don't belong here. I didn't belong at home, with my friends, or where I previously worked. No one fucking cares and I'm just alone."

Haruka said to the ground his fringe hiding his expression from Makoto's view. The raven haired man's stomach knotted in dissatisfaction. He couldn't take this shit anymore. It didn't matter if Makoto was here or not, He didn't matter. Nothing matter.

Haruka stood and went into his apartment, a bewildered Makoto still sat outside. He peered in to see the other lighting something in what seemed to be his bedroom and a sigh of relief was heard. The only thing to make all of this fall into another dream like state was all that concerned the blue eyed man.

Makoto made a face. "Have." He corrected.

The sigh ended and footsteps echoed back to where Makoto was, now standing.

"What?" Haruka snapped looking up at the annoyed expression face down at him.

"Is that how you really feel Haru? Is that what you honestly believe? That you aren't worth anything and no one fucking cares about you?!" Makoto caught himself before yelling and averted his fiery gaze from Haruka to his feet. He didn't need the neighbors to call the cops on them. It was the last thing he needed especially standing next to a pot head. He breathed through his nose trying to steady a building fire of emotion. His chest was aching to see Haruka like this but now the raven haired man had pushed him too far. But maybe he was right.. Maybe he could just leave. This was going to make working with the man more difficult that he believe.

Makoto fought back as best he could from the pricks of tears starting to form. ' _For the fucking love of God, don't cry._ '

When Makoto gained a small spark of confidence he dared a glance up at the man. His eyes were hidden under his fringe, his frame shaking. He was hurt but what had been questioned out loud had struck something vital.

' _You don't even know him. Leave while you're still whole._ '

Pale hands intertwined and pulled at their own raven locks. This entire night had turned into a disaster. He should have seen in coming before he even walked in. He should have not listened to his foolish heart.

"I'm sorry, Haru..." Makoto whispered apologetically, and left.


	9. Remorse

The comfort of his bed wasn't enough and stroking his cat's soft fur wasn't calming as it always was. Makoto laid in his bed staring at his ceiling for the last three hours since he'd gotten home. He didn't want to eat, smoke, or anything. His mind and body hadn't calmed. He regretted leaving Haruka all alone in that smokey dark apartment. Guilt was washing over him and the waves were only increasing. His brows knitted together and he tried his best to ignore the growing knots in his stomach. He reaching for his mobile and started a message to the one person that knew what would be best.

'Hey, I know it's late but I just left Haru's place...He is depressed and it's my fault.'

The mobile was left forgotten next to him on the comforter. He was officially a piece of shit. But what could he honestly do? Haruka was not in a good state of mind. His dependence on drugs was long passed addiction. Just being with the man he was falling for and seeing him in such a lonely state made Makoto scared.

But what did that say about him? He was cowardly, he was afraid too of opening up like Haruka seemed to be. Imagines of the raven haired man vividly went through Makoto's mind. Blue pools of sadness he could drown in if it would make the man happy. His pale chapped pouting lips that deserved attention. His face always crimson when the two locked eyes. Moonlight that seemed to highlight his tresses and cascade down to hide a slender neck. Everything about Haruka was beautiful and bitter sweet. A painful stab erupted through Makoto and he sighed. He never dreamed to get so emotional.. over a man.. a sad and beautiful man.. with no happiness.

Picking up his mobile he made a face to see no new messages. Well, He knew he would have to figure this out alone.

'Should I go back..?' Makoto rolled over facing away from his mobile. The room was cold and a light hum of the air conditioner made his room eerie.

'Is he mad?' He curled up atop the blanket around his cat resuming petting the purring feline.

'Shit.. What do I do..' His stomach growled but it was ignored.

A light chime echoed and the screen came to life. Makoto sat upright pulling the device to his ear.

"What the fuck is going on?" It was a very irritated Rin. Either he'd just woken up or was about to fall asleep. It was hard to tell with the Burgundy haired man's busy life style.

"I was dropping off something Haru left at the bookstore and when I got to his apartment he was.." He chose his words carefully, "..under the influence."

The line went quiet, "Are you sure?" Irritation was gone. His tone was more serious now, deathly.

Makoto shook his head but Rin didn't see it. The thought of Haruka opening the door and aimlessly look for him sent a chill through him. Remembering that feeling he got seeing him like that came back in full force.

"Yeah - I left after he.." His throat went dry, "...He doesn't feel like he belongs anywhere. He's depressed and he's alone, Rin. "

'And I don't know what I can do to make it better... ' Makoto grimaced at how lame he sounded. Over a guy. Nothing was wrong with being with a man of course, Rin of all people was dating a man named Sousuke, but they always had their romance and issues like any other couple. It just wasn't something Makoto was ready for with anyone. He didn't trust himself to be responsible for something so delicate and precious. No matter who he would be with.. but that wasn't the topic at hand. Before Makoto could protest his need to help Haruka, the line went dead. A double check confirmed Rin had hung up with him and Makoto, for the first time, in a long time, frowned. Deeply.

Rin knew Haruka better than He did so it was only normal that the man could handle him better.

Pulling a playlist of instrumental songs on Makoto left the device next to him, forgotten. He lay back down cuddling with his cat. He couldn't stand anymore of this day, happy that at least it was over. How did it go from nearly perfect to a complete nightmare? All he wanted was to befriend Haruka. He saw the man the day he'd picked up lunch from an acquaintance.. sitting there lonesome, staring at him from the front. The sheer thought of making eye contact with the man made his heart pound. Some how, whether it be fate or not, neither one of them seemed to fit together in any way. Two pieces of a puzzle that would never fit together.

"God dammit!" Rin's mobile flew across the bed. He didn't have time for this bull. Fists filled with red, wet hair. He fled to the bathroom flinging the towel from his shoulders and back into his bedroom, dressing quickly.

A moan came from the and the sheets fell from his naked body. "You just hit me with that damn thing." Sousuke ruffled a hand through his hair at the sore spot. He sat up cross legged on the bed watching Rin pull himself together in confusion. "Why are you leaving?"

The question only seemed to irritate Rin more. It wasn't Sousuke's fault, he had to remind himself but Jesus when did he become Haruka's babysitting. Never. Just, now seemed appropriate to finally break the damn brat of this phase. Sadly, Nagisa would just make things worse so it was up to Rin really. He clicked his tongue and reached for his mobile.

"...Makoto said that Haru is depressed. He attempted some shit before I moved and we had a falling out.. sort of." He tossed his hair and headed to the door,"Obviously he got over it. But I'm pretty sure when we weren't on speaking terms Nagisa tried to help Haru with his depression. The guy is great but I swear he is an emotional wreck."

He chewed at the inside of his cheek. What had triggered the man's depression before? Turquoise eyes widened, Sousuke was speechless and watched Rin's back. He'd remembered Rin mentioning Haruka a few times before but this was new information on the man at hand. At his job, Sousuke had a few of his patients attempted suicide before seeing him and it was a long, slow process to overcome depression. It in itself was a depressing subject, but for Rin's friend he'd help in any way he could. Personally.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Sousuke offered somberly, his brows knitting together in concern. Even if Haruka wasn't a friend of Rin's he'd help anyone in this regard. It was only human.

"No.. But things will probably get ugly." Rin shot a glance at the man in bed.

"What me to send the police just in case?" Sousuke arched a brow.

Rin smirked, "Who do you think I am?"

Sousuke returned the expression, the mood was lifting. "Just be safe."

Rin nodded, his vision dropping to his trainers. He never thought the two of them would meet. Never in a million years. But here he was, stuck in the middle of the two men.

"But if I'm right about what's going on between him and Makoto.. " He trailed off.

Was he really about to go to his friends apartment and stop him from being suicidal? The water loving fool was always overthinking things, always avoiding being hurt when he was always hurting himself. So reserved, and so calm. In actuality, Haruka was a depressed man with no idea how to love. Putting him in the way with the most selfless person like Makoto, over caring and emotional. God really had a sick sense of humor. The burgundy haired man grind his teeth, he needed to leave now.

Sousuke watched the red head's shoulders tense and relax a few times before speaking up, choosing his words carefully not to insult the relationship he and Haruka had, even if it was a strange one. He needed to give a firm push.

"You're dragging your ass.. Get going!"

Sousuke watched the door slam shut, and he laid back down. Hopefully he could get some sleep from this eventful night. Pulling the blankets over himself he rolled over, slipping off into a light slumber. If Rin didn't get home before dawn, there would be hell.

Rin contemplated the situation at hand. If he called the police now, he could potentially stop Nanase from doing anything stupid and it would make things a lot simpler to deal with. On the other hand, If he tried conversing with the man about his depression and what exactly triggered his emotions, maybe there would be a way to stop a full forced storm of trouble. Not only would his friendship with Haruka be jeopardized but if he really did have a screw loose, what would Makoto think? His paced slowed to a casual walk approaching Haruka's apartment.

Exhaling, The red head pressed the phone to his ear.

"Why are you calling me so late? " Haruka voiced hoarsely, wiping his eyes dry. He sat up from his spot on the floor and glanced around. His high was gone and his apartment was clean. When did he clean? Eh, it didn't fucking matter. Nothing did at this point.

"Get out here." Rin whispered dangerously. Taking a moment, the demand registered in the raven haired man's mind and he pulled on a sweater. When he joined Rin outside his apartment, both mobiles disappeared in their owners pockets.

"What is going on, Haru?"

He closed the door behind him and Haruka sighed. 'Not this again.. '

He'd bet anything Makoto called Rin. Haruka's heart swelled at the thought of Makoto. He called Rin.. but why did he leave? Because he was a bother Makoto, and a bother to everyone. Rin already knew that, he'd known for years.

"You already know." Haruka dead panned, pushing all thoughts of Makoto away. He didn't have time to spend on him.

"Bull shit. I thought you were over this." Rin narrowed scarlet eyes and took a step closer.

"What...?" Haruka asked the ground, his brow creasing in anger. The burgundy haired man was silent and a sadistic grin stretched across his face, his sharp canines sparkling, "Getting high now a days, huh? You've suck really low..." His expression was mockery and perfect fuel to light a fire in Haruka's anger.

He'd been right. About the trigger, and the new habit.

"You really expect to get a job doing that? To have friends? Or a life?!" The questions came like arrows into the raven haired mans lungs. He squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe he was just having a nightmare. This whole day seemed like one. He was free. He wasn't tied down to anyone. He could do what he liked. The fire building in Haruka's heart was growing, his face filled with blood but he didn't have the motivation to tell the red head to mind his own. Rin didn't know shit. The raged voice echoed around them, but he didn't stop, Haruka kept his head down.

"Are you really going to give up on everything and not fucking live? You depend on that to make you feel better about yourself and I'm sick of it! Are you going to keep doing this to yourself and act like you're fine?! Do you really think you don't belong anywhere?" His voice dropped and his tone sweetened. " You don' need that to be happy. You aren't alone.. People love you. Nagisa, me, your family... even Mak-"

Rin paused, a siren was approaching in the distance. Haruka's eyes glistened behind his fringe. He didn't breathe a word as the wails in the distance grew louder. The red head exhaled softly closing the distance between them, wrapping his arms around the raven haired man and gave a squeeze.

"Don't push us away, Haru. You're chaining yourself down... We just want you to be free."

All emotion drained from Haruka's face as he pulled away, taking a few steps back from his friend and the wails of the police car silenced. He looked up at Rin, the latter's heart clenched. "You'll be okay. Right?"

Haruka gave a slight nod. Rin gave a earnest smile, turned on heel away from the flashing lights of the turning vehicle. Rin was long gone as two figures in uniform approached him, "Are you Nanase Haruka?"

He nodded. He knew he should have focused on being questioned, to listen to what the officers had to say. He didn't care about sitting in the back of the police car and how many times he was questioned. He told them he was depressed, because he was deeply. Makoto was right, he wasn't over this at all. Makoto was right there just hours ago, open to talk to about his thoughts, his feelings, his emotions. Anything.. but he left. He could have talked to anyone but he had to be an ass hole. He knew that he needed to make things right with not only himself but with Nagisa, Rei, Rin, and of course, Makoto.

It didn't matter he was stripped of this clothes and given a hospital gown to wear. He understood he was here so he wouldn't attempt anything on himself, not that he would. Things were uncomfortable, but he deserved it. Now he'd have plenty of time to think, to wonder, to rehearse over every line he'd say to his friends for the seventy two hours.

Alone.


End file.
